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Struggle
Struggle A short story by Clever Have you ever felt like you can’t get something done? Like something doesn’t fit right? Like you’re stuck and can’t move? Like something is missing? Like you’re writhing on the ground, bleeding, but no one seems to notice you? My whole life was like that. My life was a struggle. And this is my story. I was cast out, even as a kit. I didn’t know why, of course. My mother didn’t hate me, but she didn’t especially like me. I could see the dismissing look in her dark green eyes as she nursed me. It was the other nursery mother who was the problem. She hated me. She hated something about me that I didn’t understand. She cast sour looks at me at the time of sharing tongues and bad-mouthed me at Gatherings. She convinced her kits to loathe me, which is why they ignore me to this day. Well, they would, if I wasn’t in StarClan. It wasn’t until I reached apprenticeship that I realized I was Half-Clan. Half RoseClan, half RainClan. Though I was a warrior apprentice, I learned quite a lot about herbs. Not because I am prone to sickness, because I was torn up with wounds and bruises from battle training. “I thought you were supposed to keep your claws sheathed,” the medicine cat would say daily. “We are,” I would grunt, feeling the stings of multiple poultices on my scratches. She would not reply, just fiddle with her leaves. So when the other apprentices were giggling and whispering with each other, I would be in the corner of the den, drawing horsetail and juniper berries in the sand. My mentor was the worst. Sure, all mentors are hard, I agree, but this was flat out terrible. She abused me regularly, telling me I could never be better than the other apprentices, and that I would never be a great warrior like my Clanmates. She would constantly send me into enemy territory to hunt, making me cross the ravine to do pointless actions, and even make me go on long missions and then tell the Clan I had gone over to DaisyClan or HurricaneClan, or something like that, to bribe them to attack us. Her timing is incredible, though. One or the other would sometimes ambush us, strangely enough. Or maybe she was just psychic. As expected, I was still a loner within my Clan. No one gave a mousetail about me, except the medicine cat and the leader. It was the leader who even gave me a chance to be a warrior. Even though I caught a fat sparrow and three mice, and beat two of the other apprentices in battle, my mentor refused to pass me. Thank StarClan the leader was watching from the bushes, and knew to make me a warrior. Of course, no one cheered my name. I was always forced to go to the fresh-kill pile last, which usually resulted in only bones to gnaw on, which would splinter between my teeth. I was always jealous when I saw my Clanmates eating real, juicy prey. At least I think it tastes fatty and juicy, I can only guess. I’ve never had real prey. Nope, ever since I was weaned during my kithood, I have only had the bones. Falling asleep was hard. Even though it had been ten moons at the time since I left apprenticeship, I was never established as a senior warrior and I had to stay in my nest at the edge of the den. Oh well. My eyes start to close when I see the rising and falling of other cats’ flanks. It was around this time that the leader died. And who was the deputy that succeeded him? None other than my old mentor, who had harassed me all those moons ago. By now, she had turned the whole Clan against me. The unfortunate thing was that the medicine cat had also passed on. She had caught the same bought of Greencough that killed the leader. Why I’m in StarClan? You mean my death? Well, that fox-hearted traitor exiled me. I refused to leave. I don’t know why. I had lived in that Clan for seasons, and I wasn’t ready to give it up. So she walked up to me and said calmly that she was leader and I should go. I looked her in the eye and said I wasn’t leaving. She leaped on me, hissing, ignoring the astonished looks of my Clanmates. She bared her teeth as I bared mine, raking my claws against her face. She countered, flipping me onto my back. I let my body go limp. She loosened her grip as I sprang up, digging my nails into her shoulders. She shouldn’t have taught me so well. Yowling in fury, she clawed at my belly, blood spurting from the wounds. She leaned towards my neck, and I knew she was about to deliver the killing bite. No surprise she knew how to do it. I also figured that she was ruthless, and it was a battle I could not win. Her fangs enclosed on me as I felt a quick jolt of distress and fell to the swirling blackness. No pain, no pain, I thought as I was dying. Death is a scary concept, right? You’re dead, never to walk the earth again. The agony was ebbing away. I woke up in StarClan, silver flashing in my fur, and I saw the leader and the medicine cat, both purring. “Welcome,” they had said as they led me away. The ground was translucent enough so I could see my former mentor standing over my now cold body, a glimmer of satisfaction creeping into her smile. I let out a soft hiss as I padded away. You know what, it felt good to leave. Leave the Clan that had made my life such a struggle. The End